It's a completely normal thing to feel nostalgic and a little down on your kid's first day of school. To have that feeling that your baby is growing up too fast. The feeling that she is no longer your baby and will eventually stop calling you Momma and stop coming up to you and asking if we can go snuggle.
What's not normal is when you feel this way, literally on the verge of tears, and your baby IS NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO SCHOOL TODAY! At least not actual school, like kindergarten. No, mine went to her preschool today, just like she does everyday. Yet, I have this chest-crushing feeling like she grew up overnight and all has changed.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that she's turning 4 on Thursday. She's getting bigger, she's flexing her independence more (who knew that was possible) and still strongly carving out exactly who she is. It's amazing to watch but damn! It's really freaking hard.
I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that deep down I thought things would be a lot different at this point. I honestly thought I'd have another baby to hold by now. I thought I'd still be in my house.
Ugh.
Let's just chalk this day up to being shitty and getting it over with. I don't have time for being sad. I have a Hello Kitty extravaganza to plan for.
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